Unlike most of my friends and colleagues at work, I am dreading Christmas this year because it will be the first one without my lovely Mum, who died in March. She loved Christmas and always made a great fuss of it. I don’t feel I can celebrate without her – surely, it will be betraying her memory.
I can appreciate how you feel but in your words, “Your mum loved Christmas and made a great fuss. I think she would be disappointed if you did not celebrate Christmas and do everything that you can to make it memorable and enjoyable for everyone. There are some practical things that you can do to honour your mum. Make a list of her favourite Christmas things, her favourite colour, choice of music, seasonal foods and anything else that you can think of. Once you have your list you can begin to plan your celebration using some of these items. As a Wiccan we commemorate our loved ones who have passed at Halloween but there is no reason why you cannot lay a place at your table to honour and remember your mum at Christmas or perhaps place a favourite photograph in a prominent position during your festivities. For a more private and spiritual memory you could set up a small shrine in your garden or on a windowsill if you do not have one. Use some small T lite candles and some Christmas tinsel and a photograph of your mum. Use anything that you think is appropriate. When all is ready, find a quiet moment, spend some quality time in front of your little shrine, and give thanks for the lovely memories that you have. I hope this helps you to celebrate and enjoy Christmas without feeling guilty.